Digital-Organic

Society had recently integrated into a matrix - integrated our flesh and organic matter into the ever-increasing digital assistance of our present reality. We lived in a digital / organic realm. Some of organic life had not adapted well to the change, and was suffering heavily. I felt the question - is it right to nurture a soul in its earth-life, when it is so vastly limited and in such constant torment? 

There were two babies that me and my friend Dean were looking after them for some reason. We were watching TV. One baby really loved the buzz and chatter of TV, especially after I snuck him a bit of a pain pill I had split into quarters, to numb his suffering. His brother was in considerably better shape than him with less pain. This baby was completely “deformed,” it had arms and a torso but a truly root-like growth of limbs where a person’s legs normally are. He had functioning ears, a malformed mouth but no eyes at all. He would wail all the time in his organic agony. The pain pill I slipped him made the wailing dull and become replaced with an almost pleasant burbling as he was lulled by the auditory entertainment of the television. I let Dean in on my dangerous secret a few hours later, about slipping the baby painkillers, and I gave him another quarter of one with a snack. (It was dangerous because I feared what would happen to me if someone found out I was tampering with the system).

I wondered again if it was fair to put a precious life being through such suffering, in this digital-evolutionary-matrix. Was it kinder to let him pass to whatever untold realms come next, probably non-digital, perhaps infinitely and unimaginably more complex and beautiful? Perhaps we were developing telepathy in the matrix, because I’m not sure if I began to speak my thought or simply thunk it and chose to share it with Dean when he rose his hand to silence me. “I know.” he said. “I’ve wondered that too.” 

Next is a blur, coming now only in pieces. We were all at a function together - my Dad, mom, some allies, and the deformed babies. I could feel my Dad - he had a strong presence. His organic strength and endurance seemed to translate well into this new matrix. But this is when I began to notice a tension involving my mother - I felt it with some deeper root of sense, more than saw it or sensed it with any other of the physical senses. The authority was watching her. They seemed displeased, like cold and calculated professors grading a free-spirited student. She was behaving a little out of control and her image in the matrix had begun to flicker ever so much. 

Then, more blur. I was searching and searching for my mother. She seemed like a ghost, a shadow, I sensed that she was wounded or glitchy in the system. Randomly I caught the eye of a beautiful, famous female ally of mine, who held some kind of power. Then I was searching for my mother in this giant mansion, the one my mom and I always share dreams about - with intricate rooms and mazes of hallways to get lost in, leading to chambers you’d never seen before. Disorienting. But this one was busy, not as per usual in my dream (usually empty and spooky).

This place was like a dystopian future metropolis, bustling and the vaulted and glorious architecture filled with a strange but beautiful light. There was also a male ally and at this point he was helping me search. (He was handsome and I had that kind of 6th grade girl crush on him). I kept catching glimpses of her here and there, but could never catch up to her or call out and get her attention before she would disappear. 

Finally I caught up to her, and we smiled lovingly at one another - exchanging some words, probably through a combination of thought and speaking, of nominal importance but a very enjoyable conversation as we are known to share. She revealed something to me, like a goodbye or that she was worried that she was fading and ‘they’ were out to get her. And suddenly, in a powerful flash and explosion I watched her expand and then compress violently (not her organic being, it appears that faded to almost nothing already, more like her digital imprint). All the color drained from her and she literally became grayscale before she was sucked in to her center almost like television snow static, leaving behind a gray smoky haze atmosphere around the black spot on the ground where she had been.

I knew immediately she was dead. I screamed and wailed for a long time while my ally consoled my pain telepathically. 

My screams would degenerate to sobs, but in waves my screams arose again until I became so angry, knowing that the authority was responsible for terminating her, that I reached up into the architecture (somehow, even though it was dozens of feet above my head) and ripped straight through a bunch of it with my bare hands, tearing it down with ease in my rage.

later

I was looking for my Dad to tell him. Outside I saw my female ally who was on stage entertaining a large group of people, she winked at me very expressively and sent me a big shiny rose emoji, kissing it first. When it arrived it was a real glowing rose, I kissed it heartfully and tucked it behind my ear. My male ally began to tell me things I didn’t know were going on with my mother. The authority had wanted to put her on a whole shopping list of other dangerous sounding drugs to help her better “adapt” to the matrix. 

This is when I woke up.

I also remember the outfits my allies and the some of the other people were wearing, a clear-ish glowing-ish, yet highly fashionable armor. Seemed to be for public reps or people with notoriety. I was very strong in this matrix too - like my Dad - my physical robustness had translated well.